I don't know when the last time I got a decent nights sleep. The last several nights I have been in and out of sleep and having bizarre dreams. Last night I counted backward from 100...didn't work...then backward from 1000...which finally worked, but it took me over an hour to doze off only to wake up an hour later and do it again. This morning I woke about 6ish and tried to count backward from 1000 again...when I got to 400, I just gave in and got up. (And mid-day naps don't work for me either!)
I'm starting a new "job" tomorrow morning. I'll be working in a special needs preschool speech class for 2 hours/1 day a week...but hey, it's a job! ...And then back to work at FM from 5-11 pm.
So why am I not in bed now? Good question...cause I know I'll be counting sheep for an hour :) Obviously stressed!
Good night!
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Let go my friend. You are not going to be good to anyone this stressed out and you’re going to make yourself sick. You and Brain are doing all you can, the ball is now in the mortgage company’s court. It is not like you’re not still looking for work. (Hence this post) Keep up the letter campaign and your eyes open for a better paying job and let go of the rest. The rest of the “what if’s” have not happened and if they do happen know you won’t be going it alone.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say. When my husband got laid off, I considered going back to work, but I have a brain tumor, and I did not get the support for the idea from certain members of my family. Again, he still doesn't have a new job. BTW I never made much money when I was working in tv and radio, though I worked 60 hours a week.
ReplyDeleteI hope your first day of work went well. I pray that you will find some way to turn your mind off at night. My favorite scripture is Isaiah 40:26-31. Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "my way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God"?
ReplyDeleteDo you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strenght to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youth grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they wil run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.
Tonight try counting the sheep as you are soar over them!
My comment posted to the October date so I'm re-posting here. - Cindi
ReplyDelete-----------------------
I have been almost speechless since reading your blog through tears. So first let me ask for your forgiveness. I realize now that I should have asked how you were doing more often and looked beyond the "fine" reply. This is not something that you need to go through alone. You've done everything you can possibly do and aren't just trying to get out of a responsibility.
So that's where my tears have now turned toward anger. I'm baffled as to why a mortgage company wouldn't be willing to at least discuss payment options. In my book, some incoming money from a known entity (and your known payment history) is better than no money. Foreclosure? Really? Who's going to buy it in this market? What income does an empty house bring them? Is this one of the financial institutions who received bailout money from the tax payers? Maybe they don't have to follow any practical business protocol - they can just get more money from the government (us) right? Interesting angle for the media to look at. Anyone have Katie Couric's phone number?
I do think you should consult a lawyer. If nothing else, it is important for you to know what you can or can not do and maybe even more important is to know what the lender can or can't do. I've heard stories of some pretty underhanded dealings and threats with no legal grounds. I think most attorneys would offer a free consult. Mike and I can help with the retaining fee if needed. (I know its not easy, but its okay to use the help others offer. Don't deny us the opportunity to be a blessing to someone else.)
Know that we love you and will keep you and the kids in our prayers. - Cindi
I do understand how stress can affect you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This is where the leaning on family, friends, and church does help some. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. Take it day by day, or even hour by hour to get through it.
ReplyDeleteI hope your temp job is going well. Take time for you as that is important.