This has been a very humbling experience. In fact, we have kept our circumstances as private as possible. But now, at the expense of embarrassment and shame, I have decided to "go public" with our trials in hopes that we can not only find a way to get through this with our home and our dignity, but also, possibly be able to be a helpful witness to others in this same situation.
My tears flow freely as I carefully type these words, knowing that there is no return to our secret plight once I publish this blog. Even our very closest friends do not know that we have been desperately struggling to pay our bills and keep our home for almost two years. We kept this secret, not because we thought our friends would judge us, but because we didn't want pity or cause worry to others. We even kept our secret from our family until a few weeks ago.
I know by now you are wondering how bad our situation could be. When the real estate market took a downturn in October of 2007, we thought our loss in income would be temporary (FYI-I'm a Realtor). Although we had heard the sayings "save for a raining day" and "don't count your chickens before they hatch", we have never seen a reason to do this. That advise was for past generations, not ours. Every year Americans (and us) make more money, get nicer appliances, houses, cars and gadgets. We have never personally experienced an economic crisis. Until now!
The truth is, we are now almost 3 months behind in our house payments. We even struggle to keep food in our pantry. Although I got a temporary substitute teaching assistant job last school year, it wasn't enough to make up the difference in the income I make as a realtor. On top of all this, we've spent all of our 401K retirement savings, as well as the small amount of savings we did have. Oh, and that temp job disappeared with all the teacher budget cuts last year.
Sounds bleak? Feels bleak!
We've both applied for jobs daily. We get rejections as fast as we apply. Sometimes, when we do get to speak with someone about the job opening, we hear there are hundreds of applicants for each job. But we keep trying and try to feel hopeful...truthfully, I feel hopeless most days.
Wow Teresa I’m your best friend and I can’t believe you kept this to yourselves for so long. I sensed something was amiss but never this. I chalked it up to you having to go back to teaching. I knew that you worked very hard to change careers and to take this step backwards was hard for you. I was proud of you for filling in the gap for loss real state income. Like you I thought this would be a short down turn in our economy.
ReplyDeleteMark and I thought all the changes you guys were making in your lifestyle was due to sending not one but two off to college soon. All your garage sales, bottle collecting, and selling your camp trailer (maybe you should have kept that to live in) was to get the money needed to support two freshmen in collage. We were both thankful that we only had one at a time going to collage with a two year gap. With the market not changing and you not getting another teaching job because of the cut backs I wrote off your overstressed mood to a Mother trying to send her twins off to college, not a wife and mother trying to save the roof over your heads as well.
Who knew “save for a rainy day” that it would rain so long. Like you said that statement was for a generation long ago, but I would not say you did not save or have money to turn to. It’s more like who knew how much we would have to save and for how long. For someone that is always there for others I’m sorry you guys are in this situation. Know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I am glad you finally decided to let us help carry your burden. I remember the night that Paul called and said he was laid off. I was pregnant with Jason and we were already struggling with saving for maternity leave. That night was our small group at Mark and Lauries, all I could do was cry. I felt like the world was caving in on me. That night YOU and the rest prayed for us and encouraged us that we would make it through. The gift you collected helped, I wish we could return the favor now, but more importantly your emotional support and encouragement has helped us to make it. That was 4 years ago. There have been days when my blood pressure was so high I thought I might have a stroke, but somehow God has provided for us. It may not have always been how we wanted Him to provide or even when we wanted Him to provide. We too have used all savings and struggle to make our house payment each month. We have had to give up medical insurance to have money for all the other bils. I am sorry that you have to go through this too, just know that you are not alone. I love you my friend!
ReplyDeleteI have been almost speechless since reading your blog through tears. So first let me ask for your forgiveness. I realize now that I should have asked how you were doing more often and looked beyond the "fine" reply. This is not something that you need to go through alone. You've done everything you can possibly do and aren't just trying to get out of a responsibility.
ReplyDeleteSo that's where my tears have now turned toward anger. I'm baffled as to why a mortgage company wouldn't be willing to at least discuss payment options. In my book, some incoming money from a known entity (and your known payment history) is better than no money. Foreclosure? Really? Who's going to buy it in this market? What income does an empty house bring them? Is this one of the financial institutions who received bailout money from the tax payers? Maybe they don't have to follow any practical business protocol - they can just get more money from the government (us) right? Interesting angle for the media to look at. Anyone have Katie Couric's phone number?
I do think you should consult a lawyer. If nothing else, it is important for you to know what you can or can not do and maybe even more important is to know what the lender can or can't do. I've heard stories of some pretty underhanded dealings and threats with no legal grounds. I think most attorneys would offer a free consult. Mike and I can help with the retaining fee if needed. (I know its not easy, but its okay to use the help others offer. Don't deny us the opportunity to be a blessing to someone else.)
Know that we love you and will keep you and the kids in our prayers. - Cindi
I am so glad that you have decided to confide in your friends and family. We didn't realize how bad things were. The economy the way it has been and how long it's taking for things to get back to where it was. We knew you were gearing up for the girls going to college and we thought you were making "those changes" to help off set the cost for two let alone all of the other day to day expenses.
ReplyDeleteWe are angry how the mortgage company handles and continue to handles this process. You make every effort to make it right by working out a payment plan and you can't even get a live person to help you. With all of the calls you've made then to get a letter when you have been trying all along. What is wrong with this system.
We love you guys and will continue to pray for you. Lean on your friends and family. We are here to help you along this unfortunate journey.