I have never really thought of myself as a prideful person. But the day I signed up for food stamps was very hard for me. I was afraid someone would see me walk into the building. What if their was someone I knew there? I was ashamed and emotionally exhausted. I didn't even think we would qualify. It turned out, we were below the national poverty level. Speechless!
When I knew we weren't able to make our house payment again this month, I panicked. I drove myself to the local food pantry and meekly asked for help. I was greeted with kindness and given a box of food, some fresh fruit and bread. At the time,we didn't really need the items they gave me, but I felt a sense of relief. I knew that if necessary, I had a way to feed my family. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. We usually give food to food banks, not take food.
The food stamp card-every time I use that card I am worried about who might see me or what the cashier must think of me. I'm pretty sure my kids don't even know about the food stamps, even though they know we are struggling to keep our house and pay our bills. This is not their fault, and they do not need to worry.
Last month, we sat the kids down and told them our situation. We told them we would do everything we could to keep our home, but that there was a chance that we would have to move into a rental house next year. We reassured the girls that this would not affect their plans to go to college in October, and that no matter what,we would get through this as a family! I am so thankful that my marriage is strong, my family is healthy, and we have love and happiness in abundance in our home.
Once we said these words out loud, we knew we couldn't continue the facade any longer. Our next move was to tell our parents and ask for their help. That was hard, as this was not their problem either. We haven't had to ask them for help in the 20 years we've been married, so this was very difficult. This isn't supposed to happen to us. We work hard, pay our bills, are good parents and responsible citizens. Again, I felt ashamed.
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I think we all can be a little prideful at times so don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s hard to ask or except help and even harder when it’s not in your nature to do so. You and Brian have been good providers for your family and responsible people; we are just in a point in time our generation has not seen before. As hard as it was to let your secret out I’m glad you did; now you don’t have to go it alone. I’m glad you have each other to turn to, but remember we are here for you too.
ReplyDeleteI agree we that we are a little prideful at times. I learned this the hard way with Tedd's accident. Asking for help was not in my vocabulary. What I learned is that there are situations that are so big that one can't carry the burden on one's shoulder for long. You and Brian are the ones that have always been the first to help others. It is okay to ask for help and lean on others for love, prayer and support. This is your time to let others to help carry the burden.
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